Body hate

So I’ve always hated my body/general appearance.

I’ve always thought of myself as the “fat friend” and whatnot. I hate it.

I’ve tried dieting.

I’ve tried gym.

I’ve tried vomiting.

I’ve tried starving.

I’ve failed every fucking time.

I’ve had dreams of someone just locking me up like some sort of animal and forcing me to starve just because that might be the only way I actually lose weight.

What do I do? I hate my body so much!