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I used the rule that if I was okay telling this person about a miscarriage, I let them know about my pregnancy (our siblings, parents, closest friends). After all, if I miscarried, I would need/want the support of my closest circle. After we saw the heartbeat in an ultrasound at around 8-9 weeks, I was comfortable slowing telling others outside my closest circle. I did this because at 8 weeks, as long as there is a heartbeat, the chance of a miscarriage is almost as low as 12 weeks. Something like a 98% chance of not miscarrying on average, depending on what studies you look at,. At 6 weeks it’s in the 75-80% range even if you saw a heartbeat. This means that even at 6 weeks, 1 in about 4 or 5 pregnancies could end in miscarriage. Hopefully this helps inform your decision but feel free to do your own research based on your symptoms/situation. It’s really like anything else in life - knowing the facts and evidence, putting yourself in the different scenarios, and making a decision that is right for you.
To tell or not to tell??? 🤔🤷🏼♀️
Hello!!! Okay everyone, what would you do?? So I’m 5 weeks and 3 days (yay!!) and only my husband and a couple best friends know that I’m pregnant. I have my 8 week scan on March 21st and my birthday is March 23rd! We were going to go to dinner with his parents on my birthday and tell them then and then we were going to go to topgolf (basically an indoor driving range where you can eat and drink) the next weekend on the 31st because my dad is an avid golf player and plays every day so we had a cute idea of while we’re playing I’ll hand my dad a golf ball and be like here dad use this one! And it will say ‘poppy’s newest golf buddy arriving _____’ then as he’s reading that I’ll give my mom a paci that has a cute note on it too and they’d be so surprised! BUTTTTT were going to their house tonight for dinner and i just don’t know if I can keep it a secret from them! They know weve been trying and will know I’m hiding something if I don’t drink a glass of wine with dinner like I always do and I’m really bad at lying and keeping my own secrets, it will show all over my face! So the question is.... do I go ahead and give them their presents tonight and just tell them? Or do I wait until we have an official due date and actual picture of little nug before I tell them? (Ps the reason we would have to wait until the end of March is because they will be out of town over my birthday) my husband votes to wait to tell but says it’s up to me and I don’t know what to do! Thank you for your advice!
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Just tell them. You’re going to be bursting inside when you see them tonight. It’s going to be special either way. Congratulations! 🎊
Mo
That’s true they will think it’s special no matter how i tell them and they would probably appreciate it that I told them sooner rather than in a month! Ughhhh what to do what to do!!!!! 🙈🙈🙈
I would tell them!! I agree wit another comment in here, if you would feel comfortable telling them about a miscarriage, then I would tell them about the pregnancy! We lost a baby a couple months ago, and I’m so glad I had my parents there to support us and help us heal. But for our daughter, I’m glad I told my mom early! That way she was able to be excited with me the whole pregnancy, with no secrets! :)
Mo
Yes very true! Thank you!! I definitely want them to be able to be a part of the whole pregnancy but I just am so torn whether I should just tell them or wait and do it the special way?! I just don’t know if I can wait a whole month!
I told my parents pretty much right away. This is my first pregnancy and I needed the support system. I couldn’t imagine going though a miscarriage and they would have no idea what I was going through. I think close family is fine to tell early on, completely fine. I’m gonna wait a bit for social media and everyone else, but my family had to know. Hope this helps!
Mo
Thank you!! That’s true I definitely want the support system! But it’s more of should I wait to do the big surprise we had planned or just tell them at dinner?! I’m torn!
I personally waited until a confirmed heartbeat. Not because I wouldn't tell them if I had a loss, I just didn't want everyone getting all excited until we knew it was viable. Then we just told our immediate families.But it's really up to you!
Mo
That’s my thought process too!! I would tell them if god forbid that did happen but I just want them to be able to hold a tangible picture and it be more real! But I’m also really impatient and want to tell them the good news haha I think I’m gonna try to wait though. Thank you!!
I would wait and try to keep a secret until they come back it will more memorable and special😍
Je
😘
Mo
Thank you! You convinced me😘
Mo
Very true it would definitely be more memorable and special that’s what my husband is saying too so I think I’m gonna try to wait!! My main motivation for waiting is to have an actual due date and ultrasound to show them😂
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