Pregnant and marriage issues

Long post, hold on- My husband and I have been together 5 years - we're generally a great couple, hes thoughtful and a hard worker. We never get tired of spending time with each other and have similar opinions, hobbies and goals. We get along well- except when we argue. Whenever we argue it blows up- he generally leaves after cussing me out ( which I hate; I never swear) and saying things like well if you think I'm so terrible of a husband we should just get divorced, throwing things, etc. We couldve been fine 5 minutes before and it devolves to this. I'm not blameless- I generally end up dissolving into tears and when he threatens to leave I scream at him. I also try to bring up things hes said/done that hurt me, but maybe I shouldnt because hes very defensive and things dont change anyway. Our marriage isnt bad enough for me to need change, but when I'm hurt I tend to internalize it and blow up later, so I always stupidly think itd be better to talk it out... But it never works that we just talk. I saw a counsellor and learned that I have a bit of an abandonment issue and since I'd never marry and then even think of divorce, it hurts me pretty deeply that hed even say it. Anyway, I'm 3 months pregnant- we tried for a while and had a mc, so its exciting- and hes pumped, hes always wanted to be a dad. We planned well, we're financially as stable as we'll ever be- and we had an argument last night that blew my mind. It started that we both wanted sex, ate dinner, cleaned up etc- and when he came over to snuggle me I tried to start a coversation so we could get into it. I need that connection, physical intimacy doesnt work if I'm not feeling that emotional connection- he knows this. After him answering numerous questions with monosyllabic answers, I finally just said "Talk to me". He didnt- stared at the ceiling- so I leaned over and looked at him like Really? And he got so upset. Said I put him on the spot trying to get him to come up with a topic of conversation with no warning, nhow dare I get upset that he couldnt etc. At this point I'm like well sex isnt happening I guess, but should I be worried that he cant even come up with something, anything, to say? Are we going to be able to talk about anything in another 5 years if he cant ask how my day was or something today? I tried to talk to him about that and it just kept getting bigger and bigger til he was yelling at me about how hes so effing SORRY that hes so stupid and cant come up with something to talk about, hes the WORST obviously and we should just get a divorce if I can come up with 100s of conversation topics but he cant- and I'm just there like I never said any of that, stop being defensive, but I lost it when he brought up divorce again. I've told him over and over not to bring it up if he doesn't mean it, and he never brings it up when life is just normal- only in the middle of heated arguments. I never thought he would once we had kids, but here I am, pregnant and sick, and he said he's taking a break for a day or two and staying at a friend's house. He won't set up any counseling for himself so I'm doubting things will change. Should I call him out in it and say ok, get the divorce so I can figure out where I'm going before the baby is born, or should I just suck it up and be happy that we get along well generally but ill never get change or anything from him. Ill need to apologize, too, or else itll be silent treatment and sleeping on the couch for a few weeks. Am i missing another solution here? Feeling just lost since theres no real reason to say we're struggling- like if we end things I just tell my kid when hes older we couldnt work out our differences? Seems sad. Advice, anyone who read this far?