I just need advice, woman to woman advice.

Hello, I've been TTC I would say for almost 8 yrs. I am 25. I was previously in a relationship where we weren't trying to but we weren't avoiding it, we wanted a natural surprise baby. That was my previous 6 yr Relationship. Now I'm currently in another and we are trying to have one for about going on a year. I'm starting to believe that I'm infertile which is killing me because I'm adopted, I only have 1 person in my life and that's my adoptive mother who isn't doing so well and when she is gone, I'll be all alone. I am currently dating a guy who already has a son so I know he is perfectly fine. I want to start my own family so I'll never be alone and plus I never had a grandma or grandpa growing up and I would love to give my child and my adoptive mother a chance to be one. In a world where I see careless teenagers getting pregnant left and right, and some not all, selfish woman aborting a kid it kills me because I want to experience the joy of life. I've taken adoption into consideration but I don't want to. I am getting really depressed over this and I don't want it to affect my relationship, I don't want to be with someone who already has a child if I cant, at this point I've grown disgusted with myself for how envious I've become, I never wish anything bad on anyone or their baby but I can't but to think " why not me? :(" ... This time we were both kinda thinking I was since my period was late, and above my vaginal area was getting firm, I was cramping for 2-3 days w.o spotting or brown discharge. Then yesterday I was discharging clear to the point I had to wipe myself off, then when I went to do it again I saw I had a glob of grayish brownish discharge no red hue, then later on the faint red kicked in and then my period started. I looked online and some women say they get there periods still even up until 9 mos. I don't have a GYN or access to one like that for me to call or ask and frankly after spending so much money on hpt and the disappointment of negatives I've just stopped buying them.. I don't smoke, I'm not over weight or under, I don't drink, I don't drink caffeine, me & bf have an active sex life, I've never used birth control. Does anyone have advice for someone who's about to give up on herself and everything. .. I don't want to end up alone on holidays & in life..