Depressed!

Ok. So I know I shouldn't envy others. But sometimes I feel like some women don't deserve to be mothers. Why is it that the crappiest..mother's are the most fertile and have like 4 to 5 kids that they refused to love or take care of. I mean who am I to say.. right. I'm just ranting. I been emotional and moody all day and I'm making myself so depressed.

I always had a hard time conceiving. I been with my husband for 12 years. And nothing. Then we finally have one after I finally accepted that maybe I just couldn't. It was such a blessing. He is 4 now my son. And he is so lonely. Asking for a brother. I feel like such a failure. I'm 33 now. I want like 3 more. I feel like I'm running out of time. Ahhh.. just had to get that out of my system. Thanks!!