still in love with my cheating ex.

it’s been amazing (almost) 2 years with the love of my life. I recently lost my uncle and the unexpected death took a toll on me because he was like my dad. My relationship got rocky. We both came to common grounds to take a break until I recooperate from my bipolar depression. We were on good terms. UNTIL he admitted to me he went to hangout with another female until 3am. Smoking weed and riding around town. I was torn and hurt because I would never do that. since the passing of my uncle, I couldn’t hold grudges. I forgave him and he messaged me stating how sorry he was so I forgave him. We text here and there. Ik he’s putting effort but he admitted to being ashamed to face me after it all happened. He’s my first true love. My mom knows what he did bcuz I broke down as soon as I walked through the door and she admitted to saying that he’s not good enough. BUT he made me so happy. I mean beyond happy. I still love him and I hate what happened but idk what to do. I feel like he would walk all over me because I’m allowing him back into my life. I’m scared.