Idk how to ask her to allow me to have it 😢

Ever since I was young, my money would take all my birthday money. I’d ask for it & she’d tell me “okay, then pay me all it cost raising you & housing you...” etc.

Right now, she’s in debt & cant work because my sibling has health issues & I don’t work because I take ap classes & don’t have the time to make up for hw, projects & etc. Also, I help her when she does get jobs (housekeeping). Actually, a few days ago my aunt was paying her to clean a trailer she rents, I cleaned all of it & my mom got the money /: but I didn’t complain because I know she needs it. Now, my dad who’s in another country is going to send me $, it’s almost $300 but he’s sending it to her bank account because I don’t have one. He has NEVER sent me money before & we’ve never met in person because he moved to that country when I was a baby for job opportunities. It’s been 17 years & honestly, this is something very special/meaningful to me. I KNOW she’s going to take that money. How can I ask for it? She’s really mean & I know she’s going to guilt trip me if I take it because she’s going to say how I’m a bad daughter knowing she’s struggling 😢. But I also have $120 to pay for band fees and would like to buy myself some clothes because I literally only ever wear 2 jeans & the same pair of shoes or sandals. Am I being selfish? 😒 the only thing she pays is my phone bill. I don’t ask her for money or to buy me anything. Sorry if it’s in the wrong group

@one of the comments, I actually do pay for my clothes. I’ve bought all of them & the only time she ever buys me clothes are as gifts for holidays or so. We don’t have cable, I buy things I need like razors, perfumes, etc with money I have earned. I’m actually really good at earning money whereas she spends so much on things which is why she’s in debt. I don’t think I *need* to pay for water, electricity & etc because I’m not the only one who uses it & it’s my stepdad who pays it, not her.