I was with a lad and weren’t together long at all It was last year and I was 14 my mom went out the house to go to the shop and so we were in the house completely alone but I was okay with being alone cuz I trusted him and my mom trusted him but... my dog wanted to go outside so I put him out and as I came back in the room he closed the door behind me and pinned me up against it and assaulted me. I kept saying no but he didn’t stop and he made me bleed by cutting me wiv his nails cuz he knew it hurt. He had a call from his mom asking where he was and he left I was so scared to move cuz I thought he would hurt me more so when he left I called my bestfriend and my mom. My bestfriend lives at the end of my road so I met her in the middle cuz I didn’t wanna be alone cuz he knew where I live. I kept thinking to myself that it was fault and I shouldn’t have kissed him so early on in the relationship and all this. The police came they interviewed me the next day and interviewed him too he told them that it was ok with me and that I had asked him to do it, it didn’t go to court cuz the police didn’t wanna do a medical exam cuz of my age. So it was all substantial evidence and my word against his even tho there were texts off him saying bout him making me bleed.

Anyway he didn’t contact me and I was having counselling cuz I was rly struggling wiv self blame and anxiety and depression, I didn’t wanna be here anymore but after months of hard work I was getting better with the support of my family and two bestfriends.

However my councelling supported me getting back in contact with him for closure and tried to black mail me with him self harming and him saying he feels terrible and how he didn’t hear me say no, I wasn’t over him cuz I didn’t blame him even tho it was his fault, well he started to tell my friends that I had said certain things and turned them against me. I didn’t wanna be with him and told him we couldn’t talk anymore. I felt in control for the first time in months. But now him and his friends are harassing me they’re knocking on my door asking for me, they’re calling my phone on no caller ID. The police won’t do anything about any of the threats or them harassing me cuz I don’t have evidence.

So now my anxiety and depression is back and worse than ever and I was wanted to self harm again. I don’t wanna self harm anymore but I’m still depressed and I can’t go out the house. Ppl keep saying he won’t do anything he’s just a kid and saying it’s ok and I’m strong and I don’t need to be afraid or they don’t say anything in fear I’ll get upset and snap. I feel like I have no one who fully understands what it feels like and the fear behind that person😭