Any help?

I literally have no one to talk to! I was raped years ago and always kept it quiet! Never told friends and I’m glad because I don’t get on with them! I’m still struggling don’t want to go to a theorist or councillor because I still live at my mums and when my ex told her she said it’s bs! Also I wouldn’t want her to know I’m still struggling after 2 years! Is there any online help? Or cheap online counselling (I’m 20yrs old and don’t have much money)