Let me tell you about my day!

please, pull up a chair.

A quick note and explanation about how this is even possible, my memory is laughably terrible.

So, I haven't been on birth control since I was a teenager. My husband and I have been extremely lucky and had no unintended pregnancies. However, I have always had super unpredictable periods. I'm talking 28-65 days, so that stresses me all the way out. I decided to get the patch and had my consult yesterday. My period was technically "late", so she put in the RX for the patch and a lab order for a blood pregnancy test. She said she wouldn't call as long as it came back negative and I could put the patch on that night.

So I got the patch and put it on just before the clinic closed, because I had taken a pregnancy test a few days before hand and was pretty confident.

Not even an hour later, I got a call from a number that I didn't have saved in my contacts, so I let it go to voicemail like always. They didn't leave a voicemail, so I figured it wasn't anyone who needed anything. But out of curiosity, I checked to see if they had left a voicemail at any time previously. I found an old vm from that number and listened...

"Hi, this is (name) calling from the women's clinic..."

FUCK.

Scroll to top to double check that they didn't leave a voicemail. "Voice mailbox is full." I check my medical records online, but the pregnancy test results aren't available yet. Call the clinic back fifteen minutes later and they're closed.

RIP me. So I freak tf out, call my husband and tell him to bring a pregnancy test home. When he got home, I ran to the bathroom and panic pee on that stick. It was digital, so I had to wait....

Not pregnant. But since blood tests can be more sensitive, I was only like, 90% relieved.

And then my period started.

and then the number called this morning. It was pediatrics. About my daughter's appointment.

Moral of the story: Save important incoming phone numbers 😂