4 nights in and I’m an emotional train wreck 😭😭😭😭😭😭 LONG POST-SORRY

Hi ladies 👋🏼 so, I married my husband last Thursday...he shipped out this past Monday for deployment (he’s in the Army National Guard (reserves) ) I knew what I was signing up for the day he made the decision to sing that contract 4 years ago (we’ve been together for 5 years and 3 months) but you guys....this shit is killing me 😭 on top of having anxiety and depression I don’t get to see the absolute love of my life for a complete year 😭 I think I’ve done pretty good about keeping all of the home problems out of the conversation...but there’s always that thought of “what if he loses feelings” “what if he really didn’t want to marry me” or “what if he married me for this extra money” when deep down I just heard him say the other day to his family “I married Elizabeth because I really, truly love her...not just for this extra money.” 😭❤️ I KNEW this deployment would come...although this is the last thing I wanted to happen. He has two years left to serve...and he’ll be out of the Reserves. Idk I guess I’m just overthinking every single aspect of this. It just scares me 😭 like what if he gets too homesick and I can’t give him the comfort that he needs? What if I don’t get to talk to him at all in this next year. And I know he loves me so much, and I love him so much, like I could never picture my life without this man..we’re high school sweethearts...we’ve been VERY blessed to be able to text a few times during the day and one phone call each night but it never feels like enough 😭😭 I talk to one of the other wives in the company and follow all of the company Facebook groups and it helps tremendously, but I feel like I was not prepared enough for this stuff. 😭 any of you ladies gone through a deployment with your hubby before? Any advice you can give me? How did you feel that first week into the deployment?