**Little insight**.. So my boyfriends birthday was the 30th and his parents left town for a while.. I have finally gotten really comfortable with him so I thought about it and decided I’d let him be the one.. I know a lot of you may not care about any of this or may think it’s not a big deal but I was molested multiple times and raped once so I don’t get close to guys anymore and I sure as hell don’t get comfortable with them so this is a big deal to me.. he knows about everything that’s happened and was so sweet and understanding about everything and he made it clear that he wasn’t here for the sex and that it didn’t matter to him at all and that he’s fine without it.. he told me to take all the time I need and whenever I feel comfortable enough to just tell him.. **fast forward to 4 months later (three days ago)** I was finally prepared mentally so I took out my razor and went to town

After that I was all baby smooth and ready to go but when I got there I started overthinking and couldn’t do it.. I felt bad knowing he was ready and then I chickened out at the last second.. luckily he understood and left it at that.. **fast forward to the day after**.. we were in his room and things started getting heated and everything was great so I told him that I was finally ready so he got up and grabbed a condom and proceeded to ask me about 5 times if I was sure and if I was truly ready.. so a few minutes go by of him just asking and honestly at this point I felt like he was more nervous than I was but I kept saying yes so he eventually started putting the condom on while looking at me with a little smirk and then we went to town.. I know it wasn’t my actual first time but I’m glad my REAL first time was with someone so sweet and understanding❤️ I love him so much and I’m can’t wait to see what the future holds for us💕