I recently had a conversation with a friend (read: I jokingly hit on a friend and then turned it into a more serious question) about whether or not he would date a trans guy. He was fine with the idea of dating someone ftm (his words, not mine) but I was a little bothered by something he said.

He needs a trans guy to be pretty masculine in order to date them. In his exact words, to be able to “get past the vajayjay lol”

At first I found this reasonable. He’s a bit twinkish, and I can understand him wanting to date someone masculine—that’s a preference some people have. What’s gotten under my skin and is really bothering me is his emphasis on genitalia? Like, whoa there buddy, all I asked was in general, would you date someone who was trans, not to talk about something that really bothers me and can make me physically sick to think about.

I don’t really know what to do with this...I like this guy (I mean as a friend—ok yeah maybe a little romantically) but he kind of hurt my feelings. Have you ever been in a similar situation, and how would you suggest dealing with it?