Im done trying

My husband wont even touch me here recently. I deploy in a few weeks. And i wont be by his side for half a year . We get one 3 minute call a week or letters. But im unsure if i even wanna write his ass knowig i have to run a few miles just to be able to get the ok to open them . We have bwwn ttc for a few years now. And him sayig hes geting cold feet over it all ? All of what. Trying or is he tired of me