How important is marriage?


My SO and we're having a discussion today. He doesn't want get married, ever apparently. He's told me before we would get married, but he admitted to telling me what I wanted to hear in the beginning of our relationship. He mentioned a prenup, and I told him I didn't care, I just needed solid proof he couldn't just up and leave me. Everyone left me when I was younger and nobody wanted me. I need the stability to keep me sane. It's also important to me that I have his last name and my future kids, husband, and I are all tied together as a family. Yet, I don't find myself thinking about leaving. I'm optimistic, thinking about how to make him understand why it's important to me, and/or understanding why it isn't important to him so we can come to am agreement. I even told him I'm not really comfortable with being with him for a really long time and never getting married... I'm honestly not. Just thinking about it makes me feel suffocated. I need the promise of commitment to keep me from feeling insecure.

Is it a deal breaker for you? Also, do you think it's important to be totally honest about things like that in the beginning...