im scared

Julie

Hello lady's. I think I just need support right now. my husband and I have been ttc since November. I just lost my grandma a little over a week ago and now my af is 3 days late. I have had a regular cycle since I had my implant removed, but I never did b4 that I can remember. I'm scared that I'm not pregnant but that my cycle is stretching back out. I used to have a 60 day cycle give or take. I got a bfn this morning with a first response test. I know it may still just be to early, but I feel like I need this to happen. for my grandma, for my husband, and especially for myself. it's all I've ever wanted. 4 years ago I had a misscarage at 15 weeks. it was the hardest thing I have ever been through. my grandma helped so much since she had 8 miscarriages herself, my mother being her only surviving child. I am trying to stay strong right now for her cuz I know she would want me to be, but I'm so scared that at any minute I could start my period and I'll have to try all over again. I am now 17 dpo and I wish there was something way for me to know for sure. but I know that won't happen till either after show's up or I get my bfp. what do I do?