Hello all 👋🏼 I was recently diagnosed with HSV1 genitally and haven’t been able to get all the answers from my hcp so I was hoping someone on here with a medical background can give me the real answers I need and not the cookie cutter “we recommend practicing safe sex” responses to all my questions

Here’s my little (long) back story..

I’m 24, he’s 27. Started dating my boyfriend back in January, started having sex in February, I have an IUD and we both had been tested recently so we thought it was ok to not use condoms. Flash forward to the end of March, I’m having slight vaginal pain, just like a soreness around the opening but didn’t really take it seriously. We had sex during this time which was uncomfortable during the initial insertion but then it was fine so we kept going. The next day it hurt worse, I had painful urination and blood in my discharge, so I scheduled a gyn appointment for two days out.

The night before my appointment I noticed a small bump on my labia that looked almost like an ingrown hair. When I went in my doctor told me it looked like herpes and would send it in for testing. I was pretty shocked so I asked all the questions I could think of but I was pretty caught off guard. The one thing that seemed to stick though was that she said I definitely got it from my boyfriend. She prescribed me medication to take for the outbreak.

When I called and told him he was in complete shock, too. He said something like “I hate to ask but have you hooked up with anyone else?” which I hadn’t so I asked him the same and he said no. I asked him when he was last tested, he said June, I was tested in October, only difference is he had sexual partners after he was tested so I said you probably got it from one of them. He had no idea he had it and kept apologizing. That night he came over to console me, he noticed he had two very small sores on his penis, and that night all my sores burst and it was the worst pain I’ve ever been through.

We’ve both been doing our research, but it’s hard to find answers to our specific situational questions. Everything online seems like it’s catered towards people who have the virus being involved with those who don’t. We want to know what kind of things we need to look out for in the future between us.

I got the call confirming the HSV1 a week after my appointment. I was also told I have BV and yeast on top of everything.

So here are the actual questions I have:

Both our sores have seemed to go away, I finish my medicine this weekend. When can we have sex again???

We know I have genital HSV1. He hasn’t gotten tested but is it safe to assume he also has genital HSV1? Or could he have had oral herpes, given it to me genitally, and then since I was having an outbreak I caused a genital outbreak for him as well?

Since hsv1 doesn’t like to live genitally, would I be better off taking medicine as needed or should I just take suppressive medicine to be safe?

Since we both have herpes, do we NEED to use condoms? I know the pregnancy risks, I’m asking more related to the herpes

Since we both have herpes, can one persons outbreak cause an outbreak for the other person?

Since we both have herpes, can giving or receiving oral spread the herpes orally?

Since we both have herpes, really what are the risks from here on out if we’re staying together?

Sorry this post was so long! Idk why this is so hard to find answers to, and I just don’t want to pay another copay to ask these questions to my doctor because her nurse had better things to do than answer these questions for me over the phone. Any insight is appreciated!

And please if you are also in a relationship where you both have herpes please let me know how you’re doing and if you have any questions to add on that I may have forgotten 😊