am I being unreasonable???

Question

so ive been with my partner for 11 years. were expecting our 3rd baby. we got engaged 6 years ago but still aren't married. I keep asking him when can we arrange a wedding date etc and he never gives me a straight answer! I'm getting to the point now where I've said if we don't marry within the next 2 years then I'm leaving! right or wrong?

Answer

Well for me personally, me & my fiancé have been together 6 years & engaged for 2. We also have a newborn. We don’t have a set date or time frame to get married. For us marriage isn’t something that’s on our ‘to do’ list at the moment. Not to say we never will, but it’s not something we’re planning or thinking about now. Our life is a bit hectic with just one child & other adult responsibilities. I can’t speak for your fiancé, but honestly marriage doesn’t make a relationship ‘complete’. The commitment, respect, honesty, loyalty, love....etc is what makes a relationship. I don’t need a piece of paper to have what I already do now. My life wouldn’t change if we was to get married tmrr. I’m still gonna be a sahm holding down the fort & he’s still gonna be working full time supporting his family. As far as our morals & the foundation of our relationship, it will always be the same.

Answer

Why do you keep having babies with him if you feel that strongly about it? Do you really want to be a single mom with 3 kids?

Answer

I think that’s your personal decision. If you think being together for that long and not married doesn’t meet your standards then leave. I wouldn’t give him the ultimatum though.. because then you could potentially force him into something he’s not ready for. The longer you stay, the longer you show him that it’s acceptable for you. 
I’m not one to normally say leave but people will treat you how you allow them to. So if you stay, you are showing him that you’re ok with not being married. I think if he’s avoiding the subject, it’s most likely because that’s not what he wants anyways.

Answer

I think you have every right to say this. you've already settled down with him and started a life with 3 kids there is no reason he shouldn't be willing to give you a date. there is no excuse unless he isn't sure and in that case he shouldn't be having 3 kids with you so he should be able to give you a date.

Answer

We were engaged for 3 years because we’re pretty laid back people and aren’t good at planning things lol. We went on a family vacation and decided 2 weeks prior to the vacation that we would just do it at a court house there. 
Applied for marriage license, emailed the judge to set up a date a time, pay $100 to the courthouse and then got married! It was 105 degrees out and so I wore a white summer dress with a petticoat under it and heels. He wore slacks and a button up with a tie. My dress was $12.99.

Answer

Have you asked him why he can’t give you a straight answer?  Communication is key in any relationship. You should have a very candid conversation with each other about what you each want and why.  If that is too difficult for the two of you to do alone, then maybe seek a counselor that can help facilitate the conversation.  I would strive to understand where your partner is coming from, how he feels, and why before making the very big decision to leave and ultimately break up your family.

Answer

If your so set and ready to get married why don’t you start planning everything and getting it together. Some men are bad at planning and arranging. No need to give him a time limit though. If you truly loved him and are deeply in love you wouldn’t let a piece of paper determine if you want to stay or not. Some people never get married and are still very much in love and won’t go anywhere. Some people marry and then get divorced not to long after

Answer

This is what my grandma did😂 she got tired of waiting and we just celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary☺️

Answer

I’d have already done left.

Answer

I don’t believe in ultimatums in a relationship but if he’s not giving you something that you want, you do need to make the best decision for yourself. 11 years is a long time to just walk away from because you were willing to wait this long, but like I said, if you want to get married and he won’t marry you, do what’s best for you!

am I being unreasonable???

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