Deeeeeeeepressed as hell

I'm not really paying much attention, just enjoying my SO. But, every month, I get my period. It's so disappointing. I've cried...this very last period was 2 days early. I cried again. It was the strangest was more like spotting, so I tested. Negative. We want our family so badly. I feel like, now that I'm stable and completely had over heels, it's not going to happen. My life is perfect right now. Just lacking a little one to love. Nothing is perfect,I know this. Maybe, what if, that's going to be the part of my life that isn't perfect... :(