I did not slap him...
I am 12 weeks into my third pregnancy in two years. Only one of them was planned, one ended in miscarriage, and the current one, while a total surprise, is huge cause for joy in our family.
I am accustomed to excitement and support from my friends and family, so today when a member of my church told me (this is verbatim, people),
"You need to keep that aspirin tighter between your knees."
I was completely dumbfounded. I didn't even have words to respond with. Did that dude just call me a slut?
Since then I've thought of about 50 funny retorts, but I'd like to hear yours for fun. Also, I might whip some of them out at him next week. Sanctimonious butt head.
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