Giving up..

For the longest I didn’t give up hope but I didn’t stress on it either. As it stands I’m currently 6 days late and nothing but cramping as a symptom. I had a blood test done last Friday when I was about 4 days late it came back negative. My SO and I have been trying for almost a year and nothing. Doctors brush me off her side I’m in their words “normal” but not having a period for so long then being regular for 4 months and then missing one isn’t regular to me. I’m giving up hope. Thanks for everyone’s kind words of encouragement and hope. But I think at this point being a mommy is not what god has in store for me... I can’t do the one thing that separates me from a male and my heart hurts😔