I’m not sharing this for pity, I’m sharing this because it makes me feel better to write/say how I feel.

So yesterday (April 12) I woke up and then went to school and then within a few hours I felt a lot of discharge rush out of me (tmi, whatever tho) so I went to the restroom to wipe up because I definitely don’t like the “mushy” feeling. When I got there I saw that there was brown blood on my underwear but it was a moderate amount and since I didn’t know what that meant I looked it up. I read forums where women were saying it’s normal because it’s “old blood” so I just carried on with my day. As soon as I got home I started lightly period cramping (forum said that was normal too) so I didn’t think anything of it so I put a pad on and carried on and then a few hours later I started get little chunks that came out, I knew I had a OB appointment on April 14th so I was just going to try to wait it out if it’s not that bad. Until I tried to go to bed, I woke up in two hours due to major period like cramps and I ran to the bathroom (didn’t turn on the light) just peed, wiped and tried to go back to bed. I couldn’t go back to sleep so then my period like cramps got more intense (more intense than my regular period cramps) another two hours passed and I woke up to literal contractions. So I go to the bathroom again and right when I sit down I hear, “plop” so I look down and its a blood clot the size of my whole freaking palm (at this point I was bleeding so much that it dripped down my legs and formed a puddle on the floor (not a drop, a freaking puddle) so I quickly clean up and flush the toilet and run to my moms room to ask what I should do..... since the clot and all that blood just came out and I just changed my pad, flushed the toilet, wiped the floor and my legs, she didn’t believe that I was bleeding (she has to use sleeping medicine so it’s hard to get stuff through her head) so she went back to bed. I ended up calling my boyfriend because I didn’t know what to do and there was just so much blood, (since he wasn’t there he didn’t see all the blood and all that so he got me calmed down so we hung up) about another two hours later I wake back up and walk to the bathroom but then I sneeze so more blood starts dripping down my legs (didn’t make a puddle this time) but I was passing blood clots (went to my mom again but I cleaned up the evidence before hand, again 🙃 and she said tell me if you have any pain, so I was like oh yea I’m having contractions that’s why all this blood is pouring out of me (I guess she didn’t hear me because she didn’t say anything back to me). (Another hour passed so it’s about 4:15am and my contractions are now 4mins apart and 2-2.5mins long) I feel like I need to pass a bowel movement so I rush to the bathroom and this time so much blood ran down my legs forming 3 big puddles (about 1” in diameter) and I’m almost passing out from the blood loss now but I still sit down on the toilet seat to pass another blood clot. I then get up to wipe and I end up seeing two little black dots (eyes) and see a bunch of organs (organs were not 100% formed, so everything was still on the outside of its body), and four little stumps coming out of it (2 stumps/arms with little fingers and the other 2 stumps/legs with little toes). The baby was hanging by something (ig it was the beginning/forming of the umbilical cord? Idk but did not have time to let it fall out or pull it out) so I pull my pants back up and tell my mom she needs to take me to the ER because I’m about to pass out(I had no more contractions because the baby was out now, I didn’t cry on the way to the ER because I was still in shock) we got to the ER and I went to the bathroom there to clean up and everything was just laying on my pad parts of my uterus and my (crushed) baby. Anyways, I was told miscarriage contractions are worse since you’re cervix isn’t open at all (so everything is trying to come out of a pretty much almost none existent hole) the contractions weren’t even bad at all, just made me tear up a bit tbh.. I’m just glad everything came out on their own (no scraping/surgery, no pushing) the experience of a miscarriage is really traumatizing and sadly nothing can stop it but I believe that God always lets certain things happen for a reason.