I think I cut a nerve!!!

Last night I was EXTREMELY depressed (I was 2 weeks clean from self harm) so I looked for my blade and it was gone... I looked and looked.. couldn’t find it.. then I got a new one, which I thought this blade was duller than the one I couldn’t find but it was way sharper so I pushed down as hard as I could I mean realllly hard I could see the fat (and I didn’t feel a thing) I was proud that I went that deep but then I noticed something after it stopped bleeding after 25min.... my whole arm went numb and I couldn’t feel anything even if I pinched my arm my hand couldn’t function right (it’s my dominant arm) and I’m terrified bc I tried to write and my arm was not working with me (I’m 14 and don’t want anyone to know about my cutting so what do I do?!) plz don’t say tell an adult bc in my situation, I can’t! I still don’t know what I cut through (nerve, artery, vein, muscle????)

UPDATE: I cut through a nerve ending and am getting surgery on the 24th