Does it get easier?

I broke up with him in January. We were together for almost 4 years. We had our ups and downs like most couples. I thought he was going to be the man I grew old with. I doubt we have a chance left we both have a lot of growing up to do. His birthday is tomorrow and I really want to wish him a happy birthday but I also don’t want to hear from him because I know it’ll hurt if he’s short with me. I miss not hold him or kissing him. I miss the love we had. I even miss the fights. I rather have all of that back than the emptiness I feel inside. Just wanted to vent alittle. I’ll always love him no matter what. Life is short but so is my patience and unless he realizes I need him to think like an adult there won’t be an us