Testing Feb 27th

Courtney • First child beautiful son born 5/6/2015. Second son born 9/8/2016. Third son born 3/9/2018. Baby #4 heaven baby Sept 2018. Rainbow Twins due thanksgiving 2019!
I plan to test on Feb 27th which will be my birthday. I have only one birthday wish and that is for a BFP.  This is my 8th month TTC and I am crushed at how stressful/hard it is. I'm tired of putting so much effort and emotion into BFN. I plan to see my OB soon. Hopefully this week to talk fertility options. 
​I work in an ER and it kills me to watch these teens showing up saying they fill sick (preg symptoms) then you ask them when did AF visit last. 9 out of 10 times they are pregnant and they don't give a crap. They do drugs or smoke or do something else stupid; they take that precious little life for granted while there are people like us who would give anything to have their luck and conceive already. 
​I love my job and I love getting to make a difference but TTC makes everyday living so darn hard. We just need to get those BFP sooner. We were always taught good deeds and hard work never go un-rewarded but right now I'm not feeling rewarded.