Get out

How do you get out of an abusive relationship when you still love the person more than anything, but you know its not healthy?

I have been told a lot that my boyfriend is emotionally abusive, and I can tell its effecting me. I love him so much, but I also wanna be happy for once and try to live my life without wanting to end it, or am just lonely and controlled.

I love him so much and don't wanna hurt him, and the last time I tried he made me feel so bad, made me worried he was gonna hurt himself. He is using my car because I don't have my license and his truck doesnt work, the last time he told me he would just live in his broke down truck or just outside and would walk to work even tho I told him to keep my car. He bought it for me to try to keep me from breaking up with him.

I dont know if I will leave him but its jusy not healthy and I cant have any friends, I can't go anywhere. He goes on all my accounts reads what I say and do, and will even text as me. He has no trust for me. I just turned 20 and haven't had any friends since I turned 18. I am so depressed and don't see a point in anything because in the beginning he put down my dreams and now I just don't have any motivation for anything.

I miss my best friend, I dont know what happened to him. He is still sweet sometimes, but no matter what he makes me feel bad for anything and everything I do.

I wish I could just disappear. I am sorry I am annoying and stupid. I am sorry.