Finally asked for help

Yesterday I finally plucked up the courage to call my doctor to ask for help. I couldn’t believe it had got to this point, I’ve also been able to self manage my mental health problems (history of depression, anxiety, eating disorders and self harm). But it’s not just me anymore, my son comes first now.

So bit of back story: this is my first baby and he is now 2 months old, I had an awful pregnancy with sickness and an eating problem resurfacing, I had a fairly long and quite traumatic labour which resulted in a week long stay in hospital where I was bed bound and unable to sit up. I couldn’t even look after my son the midwives had to do everything when my partner had to go home. The only thing I could do was feed him when the midwives put him on the bed with me even then he wouldn’t latch for the first 3 days.

Anyway the past couple of months started relatively well by the time we got home, but I started to feel similar to when I have had depression in the past and it all culminated with me having a panic attack yesterday whilst it was just me and my son in the house. That final straw made me realise I do need help.

I am now taking antidepressants for the first time in my life and I’m scared.

But when he smiles at me I know I’m doing it all for him 💙