Wedding or not?

Question

So me and my boyfriend have been best friends since high school and now we have been dating for 2 years. Everything has been great. Well, recently my best friend asked me to be her maid of honor so my life has been about weddings and it always has been. This will be the 12th wedding that I have been in.

Well, he told me that he wasn’t ready for marriage and didn’t think he could ever see himself married. I have been dreaming about my wedding day since I was a little girl and know everything that I want. (Crazy I know.) but now I feel like why should I be dating someone that doesn’t see a future with me? He is a great guy and I don’t want to be engaged tomorrow or anything like that. But I told him I would like to be in engaged in like 3 years and he is telling me that he don’t know if I can make my dreams come true. I know I shouldn’t be worrying about something so far into the future but it is just all I can think of. But when we are together he will talk about moving in, getting a dog together, and stuff that is suppose to be forever.

He is also a really simple guy and told me that he doesn’t want an extravagant wedding and I totally do. His parents got married at a court house and my parents had a huge wedding. Total different sides of the spectrum.... 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️ I have just been super emotional about this. My mine is literally a roller coaster right now. 🎢  Am I crazy to be worried about something this far into the future?! Should I just be like Byeeee? Any words of advice would help! Thanks!

Answer

I think that this is something that needs to be discussed between the two of you more intently and seriously. Him saying he doesn’t see himself getting married ever is a complete 180 to him saying how he’s prefer a small wedding if he did, I think he may just be figuring out what he truly does want in life. I think if it does come down to he says he doesn’t want to get married, you’ll have to make a decision. If the commitment of marriage is what will ultimately make you happy, then you deserve to be with someone who will love you and give that to you. You can’t have a healthy happy home of one of you wants marriage and won’t get it or you’re married and one of you didnt want it. There’s a lot you two should sit down and talk about. Good luck!!

Answer

I wouldn't stress about that kinda stuff just yet. When I had just graduated HS I thought I'd never want to be married. Four years later me and my boyfriend are talking about marriage and kids. Just give him time, not everyone wants to think that far into the future so young. For now focus on the present and don't push things like that just yet.

Answer

When my husband and I were dating he absolutely never wanted to get married. Well then my grandma passed and he didn’t go to her services with me or really help at all so I broke up with him. I didn’t need or want that kind of relationship. He went to my house everyday (not in a stalker way) he would bring flowers and just see if my parents needed help with anything, even if he knew I wasn’t home. He knew I was dating another guy. We started talking again and he said if this is what life for him was like without me then he would marry me in a heart beat if that’s what it took to have me. We got back together, two weeks later we were engaged, and after an 8 month engagement we got married. We dated 3 years before breaking up, and just celebrated our three year wedding anniversary, and are expecting our first baby together. What have you got to lose by leaving? One of two things will happen. You will either A) find someone who wants the same things as you or B) he will realize he that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you.

Wedding or not?

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