Is this weird?

Question

Whenever I’m talking to a guy if I find out they’ve done stuff with another girl like sex or anything sexual at all I suddenly just lose all interest in them like I could talk to them all day everyday and as soon as I find out they’ve been with someone else I just don’t even want to talk to them anymore. I’ve never been with anyone because I’m finding someone special I only ever want to be with 1 person my whole life so I find it dirty and disgusting if a guy has been with other people. Ive been on lots of dates and I always ask how many people they’ve been with and I have been known to just walk out of nearly every date because I didnt like the answer. I just overthink that because they’ve been with people before there gonna compare me and think I’m bad because I’ve never done it before and there gonna cheat with someone more experienced. Is this weird or would you rather your partner only have been with you?? Maybe I’m overthinking it because I’m a virgin. Also don’t comment stuff like I’m childish or grow up because it’s not going to help one bit I’ve been this way for years not going to change now lol

Answer

that's really really judgemental,  you could have been on a date with an amazing dude, who could be the love of your life,  but walked out on them because you weren't their first. It's pretty insensitive, and most people in this day and age have probably had sex before. It's gonna make things really tough.

Answer

ok let me give you perspective... if you met the man of your dreams would you appreciate it if they judged you as harshly by being 150 pounds instead of 148.. eat meat instead of being a vegan.. not marry you because your aunt got divorced... ? 
If I had these standards I would have missed out on falling in love with my best friend.. my amazing husband and us having a perfect little family.. he had 2 sexual partners before me and I was a virgin when we met... he has been my 1 and only and he had no judgement at all about our sex life or if I was good or bad at it.. you'll end up an old spinster if you dont give anyone a chance...

to answer your first question yes, it's a bit weird to be so thick headed...

Answer

it's not a super super bad thing,  it's just kinda weird, you may be able to find a guy who hasn't had sex, but that doesn't mean he's gonna be right for you.

Answer

Why do you think having sex makes someone dirty and disgusting? Will you consider yourself dirty and disgusting once you lose your virginity? It seems like you have some issues to work through before getting into a relationship.

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good luck finding that special someone!

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since when did someones personality reflect on how sexual they were or have been?? having a relationship with someone shouldnt be about the sex!! i think there needs to be a little more growing up to be done here before you really think about having a REAL relationship. and just because they have had sex before doesnt mean they will judge, especially if you meet the right person for you. Love isnt about how good you are in bed, its about sooooooo much more! and last but not least, its about how well you both are TOGETHER!! not how well he and his past did it!! its called learning.

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Yeah that’s weird. It seems like you have a lot of issues with sexuality and shame that maybe you should work through before getting into a relationship...

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you should probably just date guys who are abstinent until marriage or something or chill out

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wanting a partner who is a virgin is not weird but the way that you think is super judgemental. its toxic.

Answer

Let me introduce myself as a 29 year old (soon to be 30) virgin. The mentality that I used to have was somewhat similar to yours. I used to think that if a guy has had more than 5 sexual partners before meeting me means that he is out there looking for the 6th or 7th girl etc. If a guy started talking about his previous sexual relationship or any encounter in a raunchy manner what’s somewhere between boasting to masochistic-egomaniac, then all I could think of is “NEXT!” The idea of any guys to even mentioned his ex-girlfriend let comparing his previous relationship to the one that he is currently sharing with me is an absolute “no”. I flat out refuse to even allow myself to think that happened. To make matters worse is when his guys are so openly talking about his previous relationship/ex-girlfriend in front of me while disregard how it could affect me was rude and uncalled for. I wasn’t up tight I just have a certain standard about - I suppose a narrow demographic type of guys or personality type of guys I would like to have for a partner. I didn’t think much about what kind of job(s) he currently held or how is he in his professional world. I was gearing towards someone who is clean enough to not be considered a slob I was in my late teens - early 20s and in college at the time and I was looking for someone who is college bound. So there’s always flexibility and rooms for improvements here and there. What I was really dead set on was the guy’s behavior. How he interacts with people around him, how he treats other, how good he is on his feet and how smooth he’d have be when it comes to handling any “crisis” big or small. My expectation is for him to have a good head on his should and able to not pull any stunts that would otherwise jeopardizes his position. In another word - strategic and methodical. And I flat out refuse to deviate from that standard still to this day. Now, it is that plus a stable job. I suppose that high standard is the reason why I’m single and is still a virgin. lol I care enough about myself where I’m not about to give an important part of me away so easily. To others... it is their own choice and I have no comment on what they do with their sex life. They can call me prude or stand-off, or whichever but I have standards that I sets for myself and that’s that. There’s no need for me to lower mine just to apleases anyone’s approval. Especially a questionable guy. Besides, I always have this saying, “That’s what dildos are for.” I had plenty of fun with it. There’s no worries about STD or consequences. I understand where you’re coming from. That is your standard, but what I think you’re looking for is someone who is not only a virgin, but also “pure”. I suppose there is a way around that is to find a way to easy the talk to the guy and thoroughly explain what you asks of him. To never mentioned any previous relationship/girlfriends/hookups - though it would be harder for his friends and family to accidentally mentioned his past...experiences. And to be in relationship with you, but with a mindset that he’s never been with anyone before he meet you. Just explain that to the guy alone and listen to what he have to say. That is also important. I feel that a relationship is bound to be more successful if two people understand each other’s needs and really strive to work for it. Aside from that, I think what’s more important than how much experiences he accumulated over his lifetime, is how he treats a woman and how he behaves around not just you but other women, single and taken. If he find what you asks of him to be and to do too much, then you know what to do. 
Good luck and cheers.

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