Bottled up emotions

My sister is my best friend, my other half. We grew up doing EVERYTHING together. We forced our parents to make us share a room 😂 Went to high school, college and now work together. I feel so fortunate to have someone in my life who is always going to be there no matter what. We now live together as well. I’ve recently gone through a heart break and just a minor set back in life and didn’t even realize how much I’ve leaned on her until now. Last month she told me she was pregnant with her boyfriend. Naturally, I cried tears of joy knowing this is what she’s wanted for so long.

Yesterday her and her boyfriend came to my parents house to share the news and it went really well and I was just sitting there beaming. But as soon as my parents started talking about her future I quickly realized that I’m not going to really be in the picture. They plan to move together (of course) to start their new chapter. So many emotions were hitting me at once that I felt very overwhelmed in that moment- went upstairs and bawled my eyes out in private for a good 15 minutes. I feel selfish for even being a little bit sad.

I’m sure those feelings will quickly subside once that little bundle of joy makes his/her way to the world. But I know I have to take a step back and let her boyfriend step in and take care of her during pregnancy. And it makes me sad and even a little jealous. UGH, but really at the end of the day.... I know how good this is for my sis and how insanely happy she is right now. I refuse to take away any of that happiness just because I’m a little bitter. Which is why I suppose I’m typing on this thing just to get it off my chest and let it go.

Love you sis, to the moon