i feel lost

i feel so lost. my family are not religious so i have grown up the only religious one in my family (i am 16). i haven’t felt close to god for a very long time. this may be because of my personal struggles-i was depressed for a while and my anxiety is severe but i don’t know. i want to be close to god. i want to not feel alone and have that love and support again like i used to. i went to church for the first time with my boyfriend’s family (catholic) recently but that just made me feel further away from god, i felt very anxious. this makes me feel bad for having a very difficult relationship with god i just don’t really feel anything. but, i really want to. i see people praising him and being full of joy that he is in their lives and i want that so much but i don’t know what to do when just simply reading the bible doesn’t help me get closer to god. please help me