So basically I just have nobody to talk to so it has led me here. My dad has physically and emotionally abused me, my brother and my mother throughout our lives. My mum left when I was 16. My brother and I stayed with my dad because he was telling lies about my mother and basically brain washed me and my brother to stay. For 2 years I was convinced my mum didn’t care about me and so I built my walls up towards her. In this time my dad severally abused me. He would tell me and my little brother he was going to kill him self and so I was talking my dad out of suicide at 16. My own mental health deteriorated massively and I attempted suicide twice. My dad tried to have me sent away constantly making up lies about me and after a day of him trying to have me taken Away he lashed out once agin smashing the phone on the ground threatening me. I decided I had enough and left to live on my cousins couch for 2 weeks because my mum was on holidays with her new boyfriend who I hadn’t met yet. Finally she came and got me and I moved in with her. I finally broke down and told her about all the abuse happening with my dad as well as I had been sexually abused by a family member from 13 to 18. Some of the sexual abuse happening while I was living on my cousins couch a few weeks before. I was broken and I had panic attacks nearly every night and had to sleep in her bed with her to feel somewhat safe. She failed to tell me until the day before that her boyfriend was coming. I took that as he was coming on holiday to see her but little did I know he was moving in. I was nervous about it and to try make me more comfortable he lived in a room in a hostel down the road. But I was guilted by both of them to have him live with us and so a week after he arrived he was living with us. He immediately took a dislike for me and has never liked me since. I lived with my mum for 2 years and besides issues with her boyfriend which turned out to be a nasty drunk, I started recovering and life was getting somewhat better. But to my shock my mum told me she’s moving away with him and I obviously felt like my world was crushing again. Fast towards a few months and what I though was me just visiting my dad for a day turned out to be the day I was moving in because my mum dropped my stuff off in the driveway and let me know I wasn’t coming home. I cried in the driveway as she went back home without me and a few days later she moved away. I now live with my brother and dad again and it’s not as bad as it used to be but I have never felt more lonely in my life. I lost a friendship a few months ago because of a argument and now I have one friend left. I have a job in a grocery store but feel like I’m never going to get anywhere. I have almost no money as I pay for all the food and stuff I use in the house. I have EXTREME anxiety and literally can’t move out on my own I wouldn’t cope as well as can’t afford it. I’m heavily dependent on a high dose of multiple medications to help control my depression and anxiety. My brother is now 16 and being a teenager can’t even stand to be in the same room as me. My dad spends his days working on his motorbike and then goes straight to bed. So I just feel like I’m almost living alone anyway. If you have read this far thankyou so much. I’m just wondering does anyone have a similar story or even just share your own struggles and story to help me feel less alone