Did I grow up?

I have (had?) been TTC for almost 2 years, and only got two chemicals... I was recently diagnosed with depression and on my psychiatrist advice we stopped TTC until after my treatment is over (a year, give or take)...

Since we started looking for #2, many, many women, both acquaintances and good friends have gotten pregnant, and while I congratulated them, I felt like I couldn’t honestly be happy for them... the “why not me?” was constantly haunting me... as part of my therapy I got to mourn those chemical pregnancies as the babies I felt them to be (silly, I know, but it hurt), and I decided to get Mirena...

Then today a friend told me she was pregnant and for the first time in forever I felt actually happy for someone else, and the only “me-related” thought I had was that I was finally going to be able to knit itty bitty clothes (my favorite to knit)

I was surprised with myself, I had spent the last two years feeling every pregnancy around me (and they were too many to count) as an offense, like mother nature flipping her finger at me and my miscarriages, but now, depression and all, I felt actually excited... and she’s not even my closest friend (who actually got pregnant last year and I couldn’t even congratulate her honestly)...

I feel like I’m growing up a bit... also, therapy is paying off