What to do...

Question

So me and my SO have finally had a chat about having a 3rd LO... after weeks of my SO putting off our talk, and not saying anything about it otherwise - he has now told me he doesn’t want another baby. I naturally got upset and explained my POV but he stands firm. This morning he gets moody with me as I’m still feeling down about it, and tell me that if I ‘carry on making him feel like shit - he’ll leave. It’s not a threat, it’s a promise’.  He’s never given me any reason to believe he’s cheated/cheating so I don’t know what to think. We’ve been together 4yrs and have a 2yr old together....

Answer

I mean while I can see what he said would be hurtful especially if you feel he actually meant it and it wasn’t a heat of the moment comment or an exaggeration to get his point across, I can also see how he may have gotten to that point if he was honest about his feelings and you won’t let it go. Obviously since you don’t feel done it’s upsetting so maybe explain to him that it’s upsetting but you’re trying to work through your feelings not trying to make him feel bad for the way he feels about being done if that’s what’s happening.

Answer

It’s definitely not cool for him to say he’ll leave if it keep “making him feel like shit” but since he’s been avoiding the subject, have you been bridging it up to him this whole time? Because that would make me snap too. 
Since you both made your point very clear (you wanting a kid, him not) I think you should table the conversation and address it at another time, when you’ve both had time to cool off. 
While you’re completely justified in your feelings, he is too. If he doesn’t want another kid, at least he is being honest with you. You should really take his feelings and wants into consideration too.

Answer

I would definitely point out to him that after 4 years of a relationship hes gonna promise to leave because you made him feel bad?? I would sit him down and dig a little deeper into that. reasure him that he can tell you anything and communication will help more than cutting you off at the knees.

Answer

I’ve come in from a long day at work, and my SO has made a complete ‘U turn’ from this morning... he’s now wanting another baby and saying he was too quick to snap at me. I’ve apologised for making him feel bad, I didn’t mean to which he says he understands - and now he’s saying he wants to start TTC straightaway! I’ve said to give it a few days to get over today’s stress! 👍🏼

What to do...

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