Trying to conceive

You ever been scared to test especially after so many disappointments this is really stressful it’s like go get one then another part saying just wait in see what Mother Nature do because she do play awful tricks some months have me fooled then other months just not sure. I’m not young like I use to be and it was really easy getting pregnant then but now it’s really hard I had stop tracking but then that got never reckon not knowing how many dpo you are or the day you ovulate or if you ovulate at all man I just dont know what to do.