I feel myself hating my husband...

We have been through hell and back. I thought that those things made a relationship stronger.

We stopped our TTC adventure after three years. 1 year after I was diagnosed with PCOS.

Now he says I am unattractive, he wants me to lose weight, which my pcos makes damn near impossible. I am trying, i have never liked the way I look, I told myself I was happy he could be honest with me.

He never yelled it. Or said it out of spite. But now every day I hate my body more, I hate myself more, and I hate him for not loving me as I am.

He tries to make up for the loss of affection. We don’t have sex anymore and it will be a very long time until I can successfully lose the weight. It comes off very slowly.

I don’t like going out with him, I feel like I have to wear my hoody everywhere I go as to hide my fat rolls.

More and more I am finding that I hate him, not having sex is hard. I don’t know what to do, I love him. Very much. But this just hurts so much.

Last time I cried about it, he left for the weekend. Packed up his suitcase, said he was sorry he hurt me and left.

I don’t want him to leave again, I miss him like crazy when he is gone.

I don’t know. How to feel anymore.