Me, I guess

I have depression and social anxiety. I’m suicidal, too. A lot of teens go through this “edgy” phase and I am one of them. I self-harm (even though I think its stupid) and I’ve tried committing suicide twice.

So, why?

I was very close to my great grandmother. She died 2 years ago of stage 4 gall bladder cancer that spread to many other parts of her. I think its kind of dumb that I care so much about a great grandmother, but she was the closest relative to me outside of my parents. I feel as if I should just get over it, its a great grandmother.

Thoughts?

PS: I also have very low self esteem that constantly brings me down. The one thing I’m actually confident about is my grades (last quarter I got a 97 average)