Sharing is Caring?

Question

My husband and I have gone through a silent round of unsuccessful IUI. And now a very vocal round of IVF. (Blast stage is 5/2/18)
By silent, I mean, that only my Mom and 3 friends knew about it. 
By vocal, I mean I’ve been keeping my friends and family in-the-know on every step of my IVF fertility journey. And by every step, I mean even my sonogram appointments and there outcome. Two of my friends understand, as they have gone through the IVF process and succeeded. But, all my other friends and family are fairly clueless (as I was before my journey). So, I feel that sharing with them is helping them understand and it has also provided us additional support. My favorite part is getting a chance to answer their questions, for some reason I feel that means they are interested.
The difference is when sharing, I don’t feel like I’m going through this alone. My support group, which also includes my Glow Fertility Counselor Gunce, encourages me; shares in my excitement and disappointment; and I even feel closer to them (although most are hundreds of miles away).
So do you Share or are you Silent?

Answer

Mostly silent. Of course my husband and I talk about it. I talk with my sister and my boss (mostly her because she knows every time there's an appt and asks how it went- she's rooting for us). We've told some other family & friends that we're doing treatments but not much else. It's really hard but I don't feel comfortable sharing much either.

Answer

I was open about our last round if trying to get pregnant including our miscarriage and our rainbow this time not so much

Answer

🤔..., tricky. All depends on who this sensitive subject is shared with... I’ve been a big sharer in the past and ignorance of ppl mostly those who don’t struggle with infertility has been a big hit! Consider yourself lucky the ppl around you can be understanding and compassionate that is really a blessing. I’ve heard quite enough mind boggling s&#itt that you don’t even expect ppl to say it out loud! Glow has been  the only place I can speak my mind and so many women support each other here that truly has restored my faith in humanity. I think is a great thing to be open about infertility specially for those who don’t have the right ears ready to listen, is great to share your experiences for those who are just beginning this journey and know they are not alone, just have to be able to indentify who those ppl are🤗. Best wishes for you!

Answer

I am sad to hear about anyone feeling judged. Especially for a medical condition. But I know it happens. Information is power though. And the more we equip our family and friends with facts about infertility, the more it will come to light, and hopefully the more conversations about it will prompt more states to require insurance coverage. Or more affordable clinics. 
I truly had no idea this whole infertility world existed until I started trying to conceive. But if I had known about odds, age, and so forth...I would’ve been more proactive to freeze my eggs when I was younger. But, we don’t talk about it. It’s a women’s silent cross...and that sucks that we feel that way. 
And an update, we had 2 out of 28 eggs make it to blastocyst stage. Those 2 are currently in PGS testing. Fingers Crossed.

Answer

Only share with my fiancé and my best friend, not even my siblings nor other relatives know that we’re trying.  People around us always ask when we gonna have a baby but we just laugh it off and say when God is ready for us to. So I think that’s a hint that we not preventing it from happening just haven’t happened.

Answer

I do not share with anyone except one friend who went through two failed IVF cycles before naturally conceiving her now 10 year old. I went through four failed iui's last year, the only person that knew for the first three was my husband.  I then told my friend for the last IUI attempt.  I kind of regret sharing it.  When I got my period, I was super disappointed, and my friend, all during the process meant well by continuously checking in, but just multiplied my stress, and when it didn't work, magnified my disappointment.  I don't want to go through this or have the support of any family because all of my family, other than younger cousins, all have at least four children per family.  Understanding fertility challenges would be so far from their realm of comprehension. Even sharing that we're trying would involve expectation from them.  I don't want that expectation hanging over my head. I don't want to experience disappointment, and then experience it all over again while telling my friends/family.

Answer

We only keep our problem w/ my parents and siblings.. i am afraid to tell to other people because i hate judgements..

Answer

It's so tricky...i have definitely felt better since we started being more open with friends, but I'm selective about who we tell. We've been ttc for almost 3 yrs and just started taking clomid, which sent me into a hormonal rage and then a big down for a few days. it really helped to talk to one of my friends about how I was feeling and be open wirh her about what we've been going through with all the tests.

Answer

definitely share. we have a Facebook page dedicated to our fertility "journey". I have had friends message me and thank be because they are going through the same thing and it helps them to see and know someone else going through it. I felt so alone during my miscarriage until i started talking about it. I want the stigma around all of this to be broken so that no one feels alone like I have.

Answer

I’ve been more silent in the past. We are in our fourth cycle at the fertility clinic. Failed IUI last cycle and possible sperm issues to take care of before doing another IUI. I won’t share his issues without his okay, but lately I’ve been more open with friends about my journey. I triggered tonight and I was told I have two follicles ready. I have a few friends praying for us. It seems to lighten the burden when you don’t feel so isolated and alone. I think it takes time though to open up to people because of fear and not knowing exactly what to expect with their reactions.

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