as I sit back recovering from a break up, and preparing for a newborn (a new life) Im excited but my heart is hurting at the same time. people say, get over him you'll be alright. but truth is, it takes time. you don't just stop loving someone over night. especially the man you saw forever with, your future husband, you children's dad. he left with no explanation. what do I tell my kids, our oldest is only 5. I can't explain the truth. (dad wants a another woman, an her son so he skipped out on you to play step dad to him.) everytime they ask for him, I say he's away for a while. they ask again why so long mommy? he not in bed beside me, I'm scared. I've dealt with some difficult times in my life but this cut me deeper than anything. last year I lost our child through miscarriage. my heart or mind never healed mentally or emotionally. but as a mom and now dad I have to move on, I can't let my children see me with my head down. I cried myself to sleep the other night. I thought I was up alone, and my son turns to me and says mommy "Tell me what's wrong why you crying" I lied an said no baby mommy not crying. and he replied mommy yes you were tell me !!! I refuse to let him see me at a lowest ever again. none of my children. god I just want you to fill me up until I overflow!!!! I just want to be made over AGAIN!!!