I'm a mess over this...I never thought I'd be going down this route. I thought I'd be the one to get pregnant after a few tries if not the first. Makes me upset and gives me all these negative thoughts through my head. Will I ever get pregnant? Am I too old? Is it something I did wrong of my husband did? The worst of it all..friends and family around all getting pregnant and I'm not. Not to mention I can't handle another person telling me keep trying next month is another month. Do you know what that does to me? It hurts. I'll admit each month I get my period weather it's heavy of light I cry. I can't help it I try so hard to stay positive. At least my husband has stayed by my side and loves me and tells me well get through this together. He wants to be a dad as much as I I want to be a mom at 33. 

I haven't called yet to schedule that infertility appt. I'm scared. I keep pushing it off. I don't want to do it! It costs a lot. I want to get pregnant natural on my own with no help. And what if we try something and spend all this money and it doesn't work?! Ugh why why me?? 😔