Feeling like I'm out.... :(

Katie • 27 years old, married
8dpo and after all my optimism so far on ttc#1 on first time I just decided today it's not going to happen this time. Don't ask me why. Anyone else feel like it's not likely? 
I'm due AF On Tuesday. Did a HPT this morning and was -ve. This didn't even phase me at the time as I know it's early still but I feel like it's such a miracle for all the right things to have happened that it is so highly unlikely to happen to me first time trying
​Feeling miserable now :( feeling like I should have tried harder (somehow?)