Nothing Going as planned, but that’s okay.

Any other moms out there feeling like all your plans of childbirth and parenting have gone out the window??

To begin with, I was determined to not have an epidural. I am terrified of needles and the idea of one being put in my spine was way worse to me than the idea of labor pains. Well, I had a very long labor, early labor started late on a Sunday night and didn’t let up until that Tuesday at 5:04pm when my daughter was finally born. I was having contractions every 5-8 minutes that lasted anywhere from 45-120 seconds during that time. Finally late Monday night/early Tuesday morning I couldn’t take it any more. I opted for the epidural and it was truly the best decision I could have made. After the epidural was administered I was able to rest before the pushing started. The epidural had worn off about an hour before pushing started. I was glad that it did because I was able to know when I needed to push.

The next plan I had that did not work was breastfeeding. I had planned to exclusively breastfeed until going back to work, then I would pump to have bottles for my daughter when I had to be away. Breastfeeding was one of the hardest things I have ever done. The second night in the hospital my daughter wanted to be fed literally ALL night. The first 3 weeks she was eating every hour and a half and would eat for 45 minutes giving me only a 45 minute break in between feedings. When we went to the pediatrician for her 1 week check she had only gained a few ounces. At 2 weeks she was not back up to birth weight. Between week 2 and 3 she only gained 1 oz. This was heartbreaking to me realizing that my daughter was not getting the nutrition she needed from me. At this point the pediatrician recommended we start supplementing formula. From week 3-5 I pumped to gauge the amount of breast milk my daughter was taking at each feeding. I would only get about 1-2 oz with each pumping session. I started drinking mother’s milk tea, eating oatmeal daily and power pumping. I mixed her 3oz bottles with half breast milk/formula. Between weeks 3-4 she gained a little over 1lb. At that point we decided I would pump and supplement with formula. Week 5 my milk supply started dropping so I made the decision to go to formula only. My daughter is better fed and happier now.

My last plan that has gone out the window is not using a pacifier. I did not want my baby to be dependent on a pacifier. Mostly this decision was based on the effects that long term pacifier use can have on oral development. The decision was also made with the idea that if we didn’t start using a pacifier we wouldn’t have to worry about weaning from it later. My sweet baby girl had other plans. She has a strong need for the soothing that sucking on a pacifier gives her. I fought it for a while, and still try to resist giving it to her until all other methods of soothing have been exhausted. But sometimes that is what she needs to fall asleep, and I am learning to accept that.

I know this is a long post but I just wanted to share my story. My point with this is that sometimes things don’t go according to our plans and that is perfectly okay. What is important is that we do our best to take care of our babies and give them what they need, even if that means throwing our plans out the window.