About 4 years ago I was at my heaviest. I weighed in at 280 pounds. Since then I’ve lost over 100 pounds. I was at my lowest at 135 pounds and then got steady at 160lbs. I was happy but the extra skin really got to me. I always said I would get it removed but it wasn’t covered by insurance for me and I just never got around to it. It’s hard to be proud of my weight loss when I still have trouble finding clothes that fit because of my pouch. My body is somewhat deformed in the sense that I have this extra pocket over my lower abdomen. Yet I live with it. I try to hide it with spanks and looser clothing.

Here I am now. I’m almost 11 weeks pregnant. I am beyond excited for this blessing.

One thing that really really messes with me is the fact that I probably won’t see a bump... I won’t get to see my belly getting slightly bigger over the weeks. My husband will rub his hand over my belly and I just think “that my fat and skin. The baby is UNDER all that”

As I’m writing this I realize how ridiculous I sound... but I almost feel better now that I’ve put in down in words and got it off my chest. Please no judgement. I’m so proud of my new healthy lifestyle. I struggled with weight since childhood. I’m the best version of myself that I’ve ever been and now I’m carrying my miracle baby. I couldn’t be happier.