This is a long post I just needed to let it out.Please no negative comments.

I’m 17 and I really don’t know what to do about anything anymore I’m depressed and stressed out I have been this way from the start of this year (2018) I’m really tired of people telling me that I can “fix it if I wanted to” I really hate this because I want nothing more then to be able to fix this but I can’t. I live with my mom and 2 year old brother and my mom is emotionally absent and doesn’t think anything is wrong she get out bursts of anger and stress and my dad is ignoring me and then he’ll seem to want me around, so I go visit and then when I’m actually at his house he treats me like a stranger and I feel unwelcome. I also can’t drive because I never got to take the permit test (and I’m trying to take to soon) so I can’t drive even if I get my permit it will take 6 months to get my license. And I hate school. You might assume I mean public school but no I’m home schooled and it sucks I’ve been homeschooled since I was 9 and I haven’t had any friends since then. So basically I don’t have any close relationships with anybody not even my parents I am doing really bad in school (but I have decided to try to get a GED though I don’t know how I could afford to take the test) I don’t have a license or even a permit and I have extremely crooked teeth and I need braces.

Recently I was in a really bad depressive episode and I didn’t go outside for about 4ish weeks and the thing that really made me upset was after that my mom didn’t even notice I wasn’t going outside or eating right (I would eat barely anything then eat the whole fridge) when I was trying to talk to her about it she told me that’s how you always act, you’re fine. I even asked her to help me get therapy or something and she refused and then again told me I’m fine and I don’t need help my dad isn’t around much because my parents are divorced but any time I’m upset he doesn’t know how to deal with it he tells me “it’s all in my head” and “move on” he’s one of those people that thinks everyone should be super happy all the time and then he is always trying to be funny by picking at others. I don’t know what to do about any of this I’m not happy at all I even wake up in the night because I start to have panic attacks and I don’t have any hobbies or anything to lessen the stress I literally have nothing to distract myself I don’t know what to do.

Sorry I wrote so much I just really needed to write it out. If anyone has any advice that isn’t just “call a doctor your self” or “don’t let it get to you” or “just be happy” or “just find friends” please let me know. I’m really tired of people telling me to just make friends or go outside because it’s a lot harder then that.