So I just need to vent honestly and get it all out there because I feel like no matter who I talk to I can't get it all out. So I'm going to vent to you ladies with hopes of being able to get it all out and feel some release and relief. Please bare with me as this may be a long post but I'll list things so it's easier and not as confusing. Mind you I'm also 7.5 months pregnant so take into consideration my hormones.

#1 So my oldest is 5 y/o he's an extremely smart kid who actually has an IQ (been tested) higher than he should but his cognitive behavior is still at a 5 y/o level which makes things hard because there is a gap between his intelligence and behavior. We also have been dealing with other ridiculous behaviors from him (please do not judge) including but limited to... ripping paint off walls, peeing in vents, climbing dressers, not listening, being vindictive, talking back, aggression, manipulation, bossiness and others. However I have been in a counseling program where I speak with a counselor on how to possibly curb his behaviors for over a year, we have had a mild success but not enough to make a difference. Also I will add his has gone to preschool (@ 3 y/o) and did a transitional kindergarten class this year as well but I pulled him from it due to issues at the school BUT mind you when he's at school he has NO ISSUES WHAT SO EVER! My husband, myself as well as some family are at our wits end on dealing with his behaviors so I reached to his old pediatrician (current one is a snowflake and has been of no help) to see what our next option would be , well spending time with him she determined he has ODD (Oppositional Defiant Disorder) which once I looked it up it makes perfect sense. So she suggested a developmental pediatrician, I of course called and the wait to get in is 6-8 months... 😫😭 I obviously am so frustrated at this point because I just want to get some help with my son, I love him so much but the behaviors are driving wedge between him and our family. His behaviors are of no fault of his or ours, this is just how things have played out...

Here's a link talking all about ODD for anyone curious.

https://childmind.org/article/what-is-odd-oppositional-defiant-disorder/

#2 We currently live in a house that is a split level 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms with .25 acres... When we bought our house 4 years ago we didn't expect to out grow it in less than 3 years however when you have a 5 y/o, 3 y/o, 2 y/o (not planned but loved more than life itself as are the others) and are expecting you get cramped in the house your in. Also myself as well as my husband great up on farms so we are use to a lot of acreage not just a small lot BUT when we bought our house it was what we wanted and could afford at the time. Now we have made so many memories in this house from bringing our dog home to 2 babies and so much more! But it's time to move on and up... Only issue is the housing market is crazy where we live to the point where you put your house on the market and it's sold within 24-72 hours! 😲 We are searching for a house with 4-5 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, storage (basement) and 5+ acres... Which at this point is becoming almost non-existent. 😞 We have decided to put the search on hold come the end of May that way if we do find something 🤞 we have 30 days to close and some time to move before this baby is born. Then once things settle down start the search again... But it's looking like nothing is coming our way which is obviously discouraging. Also we are decluttering our house I mean come on how, who doesn't accumulate more than enough stuff between 5 people in a 4 year span? But with me being 7.5 months pregnant with 3 kids under toe, a husband who works full time (and some) and kids who are have activities outside of home it makes it extremely difficult to get absolutely anything done during the day let alone on the weekends. So I feel like I'm riding a struggle bus 🚌 (toot toot, any other mom's wanna join?)

#3 So anyone who is a relationship married or not usually has in law's, you either love them, are in the middle or hate them right?... Well mine well we will say are in the middle. My father in law is no longer in the picture so that's whatever however my mother in-law is... She is a hard working (works 60+ hours a week at the age of 60 due to a divorce and family issues) and sweet woman who is a push over on all fronts... Why I say push over? Well she has allowed my 27 y/o sister in law and her 2 kids to live with her (and use her because she lives off the government) all while paying no rent. She also has allowed my 26 y/o brother in law, his girlfriend and their 2 dogs and cat tl live with her all while paying no rent, mind you he makes $80k+ a year and purchased his own home he's "working on" 🙄... She is always so busy with my sister in law and her kids or work she never sees or bothers to see my kids, which means I don't get any support from her whatsoever. My mother on the other hand lives alone (I have no siblings and she is not married) works full time BUT can work from home 2 days a week so she helps with the kids when ever she can. My grandparents are also available even at 76 & 78 y/o to help whenever they can and are able. So I get support from my side but not his... This slightly drives a wedge between my husband and I... But I need all the help I can get at this current time. We live 20 min from my MIL and 45 min from my family... to put some of that in prespective... So it's frustrating to me... I/We always have to bend over backwards to help his side but never receive the same... Just is annoying 😤

#4 My husband... Where do I start? I love him more than anything in this universe, he is my soulmate and best friend. But... He is driving me insane! (A little back ground, he works 40+ hours a week as a quality engineer for a automotive company so he makes enough money to support us and some. I am a RN but once our 2 y/o was born I decided to stop working due to how high child care costs were it just didn't seem worth it to us.) With all that has been going on (above ^^) he has been good about it all however once he gets home he is just done for the day, though I've been going all day and don't stop till I'm in bed (standard mom right?). So lately as far as decluttering, general help with the kids or even emotional/mental help he has been no where to be found. He's home but just is absent... And honestly I know men sometimes need to have things pointed out the them because they don't just DO things they have to be asked, but I'm a point of being too tired to ask I'll just do it myself. So in a way I feel like I'm running a 3 ring and some circus by myself... 😑☹️

So that's my vent for the time being, I guess I feel a little better... Kinda feels nice to get it all out. Sorry it was so long, thanks to anyone who actually read it all it means a lot to me. ❤️