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I'm so sorry for what you are dealing with. I bet your sister would want you to celebrate her nephew. Also, maybe you could ask people to write a favorite memory they have of your sister (those who knew her) and that way you have plenty of stories to tell your son about his auntie.
Baby shower or not? Please read.
4 years ago I had my first baby and my sister held a baby shower for us. It's was perfect and we got everything we needed. She was so excited to have the shower for us and she rented out a hall and had food and games and cake and decorations done. It's was great.
Unfortunately, my sister passed away in a car accident on Mother's Day last year and our family has been devastated. My parents and her 2 children obviously affected in ways many of us could never imagine.
Now I'm pregnant with baby #2 and it's a boy. It's been so great for my family and given everyone so much hope and brought so much happiness to all of us. It's just been bittersweet for me because she was my only sibling, my little sister. Now, she's not here. She won't be able celebrate with us and my baby boy will never get to meet his auntie. Friends keep asking me about a shower but I don't think I could handle it emotionally. I cry just thinking about how my sister won't be a part, how a huge part of me is gone. I know this is supposed to be a joyous time and I am super excited about my little boy. I just can't help but break down each time I think of a shower without her presence.
So, should I let my friends throw a shower for us or just kindly decline? My mind is all over the place and I can't decide what's best.
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I'm sorry for your loss. I don't think your sister would have wanted you to not do something just because she won't be there physically. She'll always be with you in spirit. & your son might not ever get to meet her but if you speak of her often from the time he is very little, trust me he will know her in his own way.
I am so sorry Jen to hear about your loss and can not imagine how hard this is for you. Loosing someone so close to you changes everything and every special moment in life looks a little different. If you are not comfortable with a shower you do not have to have one. Maybe doing something different instead would help like a bbq or going to a restaurant and still celebrating with friends and family. Something that you would enjoy but something different than you did before. Whatever you want to do is ok though, what you are going through is completely normal and apart of the grieving process. It's ok to take time to decide if you do not feel ready yet. Praying for you!
I am in a similar situation except I lost my mom instead of sister. Every happy thing is always clouded at least a little because in my mind my mom should be there and she isn't so it just puts a damper on things for me. I can't tell you how many times I've cried thinking about my mom not being here for the birth of my son. She was in my delivery room with my daughters. It sucks. As for your shower, I got a little sad thinking about my mom not being there, but there was a lot going on and I didn't have a lot of time for my mind to wander. Good luck sweetie. Hang in there!
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