My abusive husband..

So this was an arranged marriage but we spoke for like 6months before we actually got married. I’m a Muslim and I was not a virgin; in our religion virginity is the most pure thing that all guys look for and go for. However I didn’t think it was necessary for me to mention that to him coz lets face it whether you’re Muslim or not; everyone has a damn past!

First day of marriage he realised that I’m not a virgin.. things got cold and shit started happening (abuse). He somehow got in contact with the guy i lost it with (back in 2011 - i was 16 at that time). He met with them guy and he told him everything a-z. So that day is when the real abuse started.. he started hitting me, slapping me and punching me.

It made me lose my self, i was scared of everyone and everything. I was locked ip in my room for 3days with no appetite whatsoever. I was helpless and didn’t know what to do or who to talk to. I stayed..

He threatened me of divorcing (divorce is a huge thing in our religion coz people blame the parents first!) Things were like this for at least 2months. I never wanted anyone to point fingers at my parents so I tolerated everything and stayed.

After a while things started getting better and he wanted to start a family.. but the abuse didn’t stop totally, he would raise his hands if we had a big massive argument. we’ve ttc for almost 2yrs with no luck. But we finally got pregnant.

Since i got pregnant everything was like a dream, he treated me like a queen and done all the house chores; cooking cleaning, shopping and everything without me asking. He never lets me do anything. I am 35weeks pregnant and for the first time in ages we had a massive argument today. He couldn’t help but slap me - i kicked him back.

He smashed everything in the bedroom.. i feel scared and lonely.

He has been chatting to girls behind my back in the past and now I’m worried he’s doing it again. He hides his phone and never lets me go through it, not even for a second with him being there. I dno what to do anymore I seriously want to give up😞😫