my guy (rant/NEED HONEST ADVICE!!)

okay... this is going to be really long, but I need some honest advice. it's okay if you hurt my feelings. I need to know what to do and if this whole thing is really stupid.

so about three months ago I went to this retreat in the mountains with my church youth group. it was my church and another church group from a different state. it's me and my best friends who are like family just hanging out. keep in mind, this church from another state is the church I went to BEFORE the church I go to now. so I know everyone there.

there's this guy at the other church. oh my goodness. I've known him since I was little (since I went to his church my whole life.) I see him every year at this retreat, but for some reason, he caught my eye this time. growing up I guess. we said hey and chit chatted and I was obsessed. maybe not obsessed, but you get the point. every time he'd come around, i'd get butterflies and try to impress him. I knew he remembered me, but we didn't talk much that weekend. all my friends knew I had a little crush on him. he's so cute and just my type. we're so similar and ahhhh.

so after that weekend, the retreat's over, and everyone goes home. he lives in a different state, so I expect to not talk to him til next year. a few weeks later on instagram he happens to be in my recommended section! I follow him of course and he follows me back. for a few days I may or may not have insta stalked him haha, but he dm'ed me replying to my story and that sparked a conversation about music, something we have in common. that turned into a conversation about old memories, and we ended up talking for hours. we talked every day for a week and then we exchanged phone numbers. things kept going on and on like that. we kept getting closer and closer.

after the retreat, my crush had went away because I knew it was irrational. but talking to him and getting to know him brought it back. I tried to shake it off because he lived far away and it wouldn't work out, but he is so perfect for me honestly. words can't describe t. I know every girl says that about their guy, but really, truly, we are so similar and I haven't ever met someone who's so much like me. and he's so cute and handsome. and he gets me more than anyone else. and I can be totally honest and myself when talking to him. there's so much more I can say.

during this friendship I have a MASSIVE MASSIVE crush on him. then he out of the blue confesses his feelings for me. it took me by surprise, but I was SO HAPPY and all that. ever since then (that was probably a month and a half ago) we have been super close and honest and real with each other. we call and facetime and text everyday. the only thing is, neither of us drive, and we'll only see each other twice a year, at the retreat and at another summer camp.

summer camp this summer is gonna be so great with him too. I can feel it. now that the feelings are established and we're already close, we can skip the awkward mess. he's real like that. and he's super chill. ya know?

honestly, again, he is s o p e r f e c t. hes beautiful, and kind, and smart, and funny, he gets me. he knows how I act. he knows all this stuff about me. i trust him. I look forward to talking to him every day. he's such an adorable awkward geek it's so cute. we love the same books, movies, music. we're both musicians. we both love jesus. what else is here? we're young, but I feel like this could go somewhere. everyone says that's stupid, please tell me if it is, but I really feel like it could. we've already known each other most of our lives, our families are close family friends, the only thing keeping us apart is physical distance. everything is already in place. before we even became friends we wanted to go to the same college. doesn't it all seem kind of, meant to be? I don't know.

ahhh this was super long. please tell me what you think. is this whole thing stupid? should I just let it go? should we wait until we're older? should we say screw it and live while we're young?