I apologize

I honestly don't know what to think any more. I love L.D.M with eveything inside of me but I can't help but to feel she feels completely different then what's she says. I feel like a piece of shit for how I have been treating her .... she is my QUEEN ..... I don't know what to do any more I already feel like my world have shattered to the point it's unfixable... I have never have a female cause me to feel this way and it's destroying me mentality.... I LOVE YOU BABY!!! I'm sorry for being the way I am.