Ok so am I crazy?

Been married 4 years

I love him

We want babies

I’m 31 yrs old

I’m a full time student

3 seasonal jobs

Husband is the primary income

.....

I’m thinking of divorce

I don’t know what to do. We have been struggling. I feel like we are becoming friends more than lovers. He has a computer game addiction. He says it’s not an addiction. I don’t want to be the wife that is like a dripping faucet but I’m so upset about it. We have talked about it. I didn’t even ask him to quit I just asked if he would please be a better manager of how much time he’s on the video games. We have argued and I have begged, cried, stomped out. Gone silent for a couple days. He won’t even go to bed with me because he plays long into the night and as soon as he gets home from work. We don’t go on date nights and when we do it’s like it’s a chore he can’t wait to cross off the list so I will stop nagging and he can get back to the game. I hate that I have to deal with this. What do I do? I’ve been having trouble conceiving, uterus issues. Anyway in 31 and running out of time. I turned down an AMAZING opportunity last year to teach in another country because he wasnt ready to make the move (he actually said internet would not be available or good there and would affect his online team!!!!) needless to say I was crushed. I feel called to missions and I get frustrated that there is no ambition or desire in him. He is called too and is waisting so much time and talent.

Anyway, he has broken keyboards, mouses, phones, screens and punches himself in the head (literally) when his team or he loses. It’s ridiculous. I have talked to his dad who is a minister, but they too just fought about it. I asked his mom for help too, didn’t work he just gets mad at me. The last thing I want is for him to argue with his parents too. I’ve begged him to go to counseling with me. He didn’t want to. I made an appointment and he didn’t show up. I have begged, cried, I walked out tonight after I asked him to come to bed with me because we are on a conceiving schedule. He TEXTED me to ask me to give him 20min he was in the middle of a game. I waited 20, 25, 30min then I got dressed and left (he was still on the game) I could not even look him in the face as I walked out. I was/am furious.

He says it’s his release because he works so hard-and he does but Do I have to feel like this because of that? Do I have to compete with his video games for the rest of my life? I don’t think I can take competing another year... and I’ll be 32 in a couple of months.

I’m not bringing in a lot of income and he says it’s fine but he makes me feel like crap about it sometimes because he constantly brings it up that I’m not contributing. He recently told me I could go full time to school so I could finish and then he told me I have to take care of making the car payments...he knows I only have a seasonal job and I don’t make that much ☹️ (not enough for the car payment and groceries) But I feel he only does it to manipulate me into feeling guilty and therefore letting him play as long as he wants.

He expects me to have lunch for him every day but hardly gives me money to groceries shop, sometimes I have to borrow from my parents. I don’t like asking him for money because as he says “you’re not helping right now” I’m looking for a job but that means I can’t go to school full time and I’m almost done. He SAYS he is all for it and supports me but he doesn’t help me at all in anything house work. In the end it comes back to his time on the game and making me feel like I SHOULD kill myself doing everything else because he has a Monday-Friday Job. All other time is for his game (stress relief). 🙄

Help please. Am I over reacting? Is it crazy I’m considering divorce after only 4 years? Or crazy to consider divorce because he’s the primary earner? I don’t even know if I should keep trying to have a baby 😭! I feel sad, unwanted, unloved, lonely, trapped...☹️